Daring to Be » 2005 » August

Last night? Not so good.

This morning? Feeling better. Really do not want to work. At all. At least, before work, I am going for breakfast with Alicia, Candace, and Tamara. It’ll be nice to catch up.

I miss the days of working at Metalsmiths. We had fun there. But today, today I won’t miss it. Today, if I still worked there, I would be working alone all day which translates to: extreme boredom. At least at The Bay I am working with someone.

I watched Shall We Dance? last night with Nicole. Pretty good movie. I fell in love with “The Book of Love” by Peter Gabriel.

I am (hopefully) getting a cell phone next weekend. Depends how much my pay cheque is. I need one, really bad.

I suppose I should get ready for breakfast now.

Today was the second time this week that I chose to risk, say, possible HIV infection all in the name of comfort. My sandals broke while working Wednesday so therefore I had to purchase some new work shoes. Not a huge deal, we’re only allowed to wear sandals in the summer and because I have no black closed-toe shoes it was inevitable I would have to buy some. Fall, and then winter, is not that far off.

Unfortunately.

Anyway. My new shoes? Are typical new shoes. As in they hurt like hell. So Wednesday night I chose to walk in sock feet from The Bay to where I park behind A & B Sound. That’s a good three blocks in downtown Saskatoon. That is also oh, I don’t know… stupid.

Again today, my second day in those evil shoes, ended with me taking my chances with my health. Not to mention I was a walking target for any potential rapists. In the quite possibly a million articles I have read about how to protect yourself against rape (no, not because I’m paranoid but because they are everywhere. The articles that is. Not the rapists.) the articles always say the easiest targets have their arms full and are preoccupied. Well, my arms were full with the following: a lunch box, a rather large purse, and two shopping bags, one of which was filled with ten packs of looseleaf. And I sure as hell was preoccupied with praying that I wouldn’t catch some God-awful disease.

I am happy to report I am home free sans needle punctures and/or brutal attacks. Yes!

Okay I also wanted to report that D’s Mom? Rocks. She is the nicest lady ever. I knew she came into the city last night to see D and Chad’s new place and I also knew that D and Chad were planning on going out. So on a whim I invited her over to watch a movie with me, Mom, Mom’s friend Marilyn, Nicole, and Chelene. And she came! How cool is that? We watched Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo. Yes, I watched a movie about a man-whore with my boyfriend’s Mom. Craziness. And then today? I came home from work to find she bought me a present! Last night I was wearing D’s fleece pants and I told her I stole them from him because they are so comfy. So today she bought me a pair of fleece pants! Not to mention she bought me a cute beach bag for my birthday after only meeting me once. Wow I am a lucky girl. Not only do I have a great boyfriend, but his Mom is great too!

Today marks the beginning of the weekend. A weekend of work. How fun. I think it will be though, Alicia is here from Vancouver so I’ll get to visit. Also, Megan and Kassidy will be back in the city. I work on Sunday, but not till 10:45 AM, so if you’ll be here before then Meg, call me.

Well, it’s been a week since I updated so I think it’s time I did again. Why haven’t I updated? Not because of a lack of things to update about, rather I have been one extremely busy girl this past week.

As I mentioned in the previous entry, I headed to Little Bear Lake with Nicole and Mom for three glorious days! The weather wasn’t the best, but it was no big deal to me. I was just glad to get out of the city for awhile! Uncle Grant, Aunt Robin, Evan, and Dale were there as well. It was fun going for many walks, riding on the back of the quads while the boys drove, and just relaxing. Falling asleep to the sound of loons and waking up to a bear on the deck! Yup, I’ve got a pretty great video of it too. Just a small bear, but a bear nonetheless. I’ve been saying the last little while that I really want to see a bear, but from a safe distance. Being in the cabin and looking out the windows to a bear was perfect! We also saw a bigger bear at Lark’s Inn.

Wednesday morning before work I went with Nicole and Twyla wedding dress shopping. I still can’t believe my older brother is getting married, and seeing Twyla in a wedding dress was completely surreal. I’m definitely wearing waterproof mascara to their wedding next July! I think the tears will be coming quite a bit. Either that or I’ll have a face-splitting smile on the whole time! Oh, and let me tell you… I will never ever support Debra Dee Weddings in my life. The worst customer service ever. I still bristle when I think of it.

Thursday night was Tanya’s stagette party. It was a surprise party and was alot of fun. I didn’t drink or stay out late but I’m glad I went. Seeing Tanya in a teeshirt with lifesavers sewn all over it was priceless. I think she made around $15 with her “Buck-A-Suck” tee. What a dirty tradition that one! Funny though.

Friday night D came home, and it was Nicole’s football teams pubcrawl. Some crazy antics let me tell you! We took quite a few crazy pictures. I’d upload them onto Flickr if I could find the camera and wasn’t so darn lazy. Keep your eyes open.

Saturday night Nicole, Chelene and I hit up all sixteen pavilions at Folkfest. Not to be confused with, say, Calgary Folkfest, Saskatoon Folkfest consists of pavilions set up representing different countries around the world. You can learn about different aspects of other countries, as well as eat their food and buy souvenirs. It’s alot of fun, but hitting up all the pavilions in less than an 8 hour period was a bit too much. Next year I want to do some serious folkfesting and spend a decent amount of time at each.

Sunday was a relaxing day. Mom, Nicole and I biked over to Megan’s new place. Very nice Meg! Can’t wait till you’re officially moved here! Then Nicole, D, Chad (D’s brother), Chris (my brother’s best friend) and I all went to the driving range at Wilson’s Greenhouse and Garden Centre. I opted for minigolf with Chad while the others hit up the driving range and I’m proud to announce that I got a hole-in-one! Of course, that was after I had to get a replacement ball due to me whacking mine into the water. Oops! The day was brought to a close with a swim in an outdoor swimming pool and pizza for supper. A great end to a great weekend.

Besides that, the past two days have been spent working. Luckily, both days have flown by due to a massive amount of stock! I bought a great necklace for $7, I can’t wait to wear it to work tomorrow night.

Also; tomorrow D moves in with his brother into the snazzy new townhouse his brother bought! It’s a very nice place, too bad it’s in Briarwood which is a bit of a drive from me. Briarwood is the southeast part of the city whereas where I live, Silverspring, is the northeast part of the city. Although if he doesn’t update his blog soon, who knows how long we’ll be dating! Haha, empty threat I know.

Well I hope this satisfies all of my (three) readers out there! I have a bunch of topics besides a regurgitation of my daily life I would like to write about, so keep your eyes open.

Stop to drop off some movies, buy a few groceries, pick Mom up from work and we’re off! To Little Bear Lake for some much needed relaxation. Now if only the weather would cooperate…

Summer of tragedies.

It began with Jenna’s father. Then a young 46 year-old father of four children from Arborfield, a town 15 minutes away from my hometown. Then my cousin Stefan. Now, yesterday morning, a 16 year-old and an 18 year-old from Nipawin died in a car accident.

They were brother and sister.

They had a 21 year-old brother, Wes, who died in an accident a year ago in July.

In one year their parents lost three of their five children. How do you get over something like that?

I graduated with Karen, who is related to this family. Last year she lost her grandmother in the spring. Then her cousin Wes in the summer. Then that fall her mother passed away unexpectedly and tragically in a farming accident.

Less than a year later, two more of her cousins taken.

How much can one family take?

I think about what happened to Stefan, and try to multiple the grief and pain. It is too much to bear.

Well, there isn’t much to say about yesterday. It was sad, as any funeral is, especially a funeral for someone so young and taken so tragically. I still can’t put my mind around how the accident happened, but Mom thinks he must’ve fallen asleep at the wheel. I guess we’ll never know.

I find that if I really think about the fact I’ll never see Stefan again, that’s when I get sad. Easy solution: try not to think about it!

I cried alot at the funeral, which was a bit surprising for me as I am not a crier. As for my waterproof makeup? Well, I found out the hard way it is definitely not tearproof.

The luncheon after the funeral was decent. It was nice to be able to sit and visit with my family. I especially enjoyed the part when Madison declared D her boyfriend! It was so cute, mostly because it wasn’t like we planted the idea in her head. After she catapulted herself from my lap into his, I said “Ooh she likes you!” So D asked if she had a boyfriend and she said no. Then she rethought for a few seconds and said “Yes YOU are my boyfriend!” Then later he asked “Hey Madison, who’s your boyfriend?” and she calmly replied “You.” It may have something to do with the fact he let her draw all over his face with my Hello Kitty lipgloss, who knows? I do know that Madison is one girl I sure don’t mind sharing him with, because I love her too!

I am so happy D came with me. Even though he hates funerals (although who really loves them!?) and felt awkward because he only met Stefan once, he came because he knew I wanted him there.

Nicole’s flight arrives tonight at 10:30 PM. I’ll be happy when she’s home. Let’s see how long it is until we’re having our sisterly bickers.

On Wednesday, Mom and I went up to Nipawin for the day with Aunt Diane and Megan. It felt like three.

I had a massive headache all day Wednesday and yesterday. I didn’t cry until I talked to my sister on the phone Wednesday night. Unfortunately, she won’t be able to make it back from Quebec for the funeral, but she is coming back earlier than originally planned. She wasn’t supposed to be back until next Wednesday, but now she’ll be back Sunday night. In light of what has happened, she just really wants to be home with family.

The funeral is tomorrow at 2 PM in Nipawin. Another day trip for me, I work until 9 PM tonight and then at 11 AM on Sunday. It’ll be a long day, it’s a three hour trip there and then three hours back. And alot of grief between the two long drives I bet.

D will be back tonight, and although he only met Stefan once he is coming with me to the funeral. I need him there. As my rock I guess. My normalcy.

Roseanne came over last night. We biked to a playground that’s nearby and ran through the sprinklers. I needed that! It felt good to act like a kid.

Honestly? I can’t wait for tomorrow to be done and gone. By nature I am pretty happy-go-lucky, and I just don’t deal with sadness very well. I feel awkward. I look forward to Colin and Tanya’s wedding on September 10th. That’s when my family will be together next, hopefully with smiles on their faces.

Never before in my life has anyone close to me died. I had two grandparents die when I was 11, but I was so young and it just didn’t effect me. I had the mindset that that is what happened when you were old.

This morning Mom woke me up with horrible news. My 20 year-old cousin Stefan passed away in a car accident last night.

I’ve never before seen my Mom cry.

I’m still shocked, disbelieving…

I remember last summer, for his 19th birthday. We both lived in Regina and worked that day. He had no plans for his birthday, and I’m a big “you should make a big deal about your birthday” person. So I baked him a cake, and filled my apartment with balloons. He came over, we had cake, and then I took him for supper at Earl’s. Then, because he was finally legal age I insisted he buy booze and we went back to my place and watched a movie. A few days later my Aunt Kathy called and thanked me, saying Stefan said that was his best birthday in a long time.

He was a genuinely nice, good kid. I just simply cannot believe he’s gone for good.

Mom and I are headed to Nipawin today. I’m not sure when we’ll be back.

I haven’t been the best updater lately, but neither have you, you, you, or you. Get Evan fixing up that blog for you Aunt Robin! I’m waiting.

So my birthday was… okay. I mean, of course it paled in comparison to the hot tub party and BBQ for my 21st, but I had fun even considering I worked all day and many people weren’t around. I bought myself a birthday gift to cheer myself up. I haven’t owned a good perfume in a long time, so a couple of weeks ago I picked up a few samples for testing. Both D and I fell in love with Amor Amor by Cacharel, so I splurged on some for my birthday. I smell great.

This is the first year I actually feel old though. I don’t know what it is. Wait… it’s not so much that I feel old, it’s just that age 20 and 21 still felt like they should’ve been age twentyteen and twentyoneteen. Now 22 actually feels like I’m an adult which is funny because I just moved back in with my Mom a few months ago!

I’ve worked the last five days, and I’m feeling pretty grateful I get the next two off. I’ve worked alot alone, all day Sunday and for at least two hours for the past two days. It hasn’t been super busy but I’ve kept myself occupied with doing stock and puttering around tidying up jewellery tables. I finally got a smaller smock today too. I was swimming in a size medium, and I can’t believe how much better a small looks and fits. I don’t completely detest my uniform anymore, which is a good thing.

So I have tomorrow and Thursday off, and lots to do. Endless loads of laundry, a room to clean, a car to clean, as well as cleaning up the garage and unpacking the last of my boxes. Let’s see how much I can get accomplished.

Yesterday there was a pretty horrid thunderstorm. Our power was out for a good hour, maybe more. Ruined the evening for awhile there, I had made cookies because I was craving something sweet and then planned on being a couch potato and watching TV. My alternative entertainment was maybe even more fun though, I took a bath and read by candlelight in the tub.

Oh, and in response to your email Kassidy, great idea. She wrote to me saying we should take advantage of the fact that her and I as well as Megan will all be living in Saskatoon starting in September. It’s been a long time since The Three Muskateers were together all at once, and the three of us have never lived in the same city. Plsu, we won’t only be living in the same city, but also in the same general area! In fact, I could bike to both their places. Let’s hope we see more of eachother.