Daring to Be » 2005 » November

I received an email from someone who read my blog, and for some reason it just spoke to me.

Brea; Enjoy your wanderings. Have longed for that moment.

I’m not exactly sure what moment is being referred to, but I digress. Point is, I’m going to do just that; enjoy my wanderings!

I remember a conversation I had with my sister about a month ago. I was crying for one reason or another, I believe it was due to stressing out about school and the fact I thought my life sucked. My sister said to me “Enjoy where you are now, twenty-two, single, in school! Because one day you’re going to long for it.”

I don’t feel like I’m taking advantage of being young and unattached. I mean my life consists of school, work, Brownies, and occasionally going out. I used to be more multi-faceted than that, if I remember correctly.

I know it’s a bit too early to make a New Year’s resolution, so let’s not call it that. Plus, I don’t want to jinx myself when it comes to this, for we all know New Year’s resolutions always end up being broken. Rather, let’s call it New Year’s plans. Consisting of activities I have done in my past and wouldn’t mind doing again, or activities I’ve wanted to do but just have never gotten around to it.

1) Learn to play the gee-tar! Too bad I gave Curtis back his guitar.
2) Relearn how to play piano (Megan, this is where you come in, after Nicole and I buy a keyboard.)
3) Start writing again! I promised Roseanne I’d write her a song, I’d better get at ‘er.
4) Dance, lyrical/modern. With Jenna next semester, right girl?
5) Paint. I bought two canvases almost a year ago, they remain wrapped up. Not cool.
6) Sew. I have material for a sundress and some comfy pants.
7) Sing somewhere else besides in my car. (Say the shower, as it is now I don’t do that because even I can’t stand the sound of my voice.)
8) Be more adventurous within the confines of my home city. For example, I’ve never been skating behind the Bess, and I’ve never been to the chocolate buffet at Saskatoon Inn.
9) Start geocaching. Because, wow, does it seem like it would be fun.
10) A top secret plan I devised along with my blood and surrogate sisters.

I’m not saying that come the New Year I am going to morph into some artsy creative genius, but hopefully I can tick a few of those things off of my list. Lots are fairly simple to do, so I don’t think it should be a problem.

About a week ago, I instructed everyone to check back in a few months to see where I’m at concerning my level of happiness. I believe the date set was March 1st? Look for that post, combined with a progress report on what I’ve accomplished on my activity list.

Oh, and as a sidenote… Boney M Christmas carols on my mp3 player make me happy!

Alyssa’s 21st birthday yesterday, happy birthday to her! Went to Lydia’s for drinks. Theresa Sokyrka of Canadian Idol fame was there. No, I didn’t act like a rabid fan and jump up and down saying “You’re Theresa!” I don’t own her CD, although I like her music and voted for her. By the way, I had no idea she was that tiny.

That’s the closest I’ve been to seeing someone semi-famous. Unless you count seeing David Suzuki in the airport when I was 16. Lucky me hey?

Does it bother anyone else that Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson have called it quits? Or am I just a total girl? It must be that. I get depressed any time I hear of break-ups. Not just celebrity break-ups. One of the downfalls of being a hopeless romantic I suppose.

Is it really obvious I don’t have anything to write about lately? Help me out here.

Roseanne: “I like dirty men!”

Breanne: “At least we have really cute shoes!”

Julie: “I don’t know who he is. Someone who likes to kiss me.”

I love my friends.

Last night I had a dream I was visiting Rivière-du-Loup. I stopped at my host family’s house, and only Eric was there. I was at first worried, because I haven’t studied French at all since getting back from Quebec. In my dream, though, I was doing a pretty good job. Then I stopped at the hospital where Manon works as a social worker and visited with her too.

So I had that dream, and then today in history class my prof was talking about the legend of Rose Latulipe. I first heard of it in my culture class in Quebec. Everyone divided into groups and had to interpret and act out the legend in an interesting way. My group did a rap off between the Devil and Rose’s fiance, Gabriel. I was Rose, and had my own little rap song.

Je suis Rose
et je veux dire,
J’aime les partis
donc je vais sortir.

Je suis belle
et tout le monde m’aime.
Qu’est-ce que je pense?
Je suis une super femme.

And then I danced with the Devil, and he killed me. Asshole.

Yesterday? I missed my hometown. Today? I miss French immersion.

You know how people say the time you spend in high school will be the best time of your life? I always disagreed.

My view is yes, sure, I had fun in high school but I don’t think it was the best time of my life.

Today? Today I miss high school. Though I still don’t agree my life will never be as good as it was then, today I really do miss it.

Maybe I am just feeling a bit ripped off, since I booked this weekend off to go home for one of my brother’s infamous small town pubcrawls. But now, in light of the insanity that is the next few weeks, I am staying in Saskatoon doing homework. Good thing I am fairly sure the pubcrawl has been pushed back to January.

A few weeks ago, when I was over at Roseanne and Julie’s, I told them I needed a night of small town partying. I haven’t been home since Carrot River grad, which was five months ago.

I miss booze cruises and moonshine and back roads and bush parties. I miss country boys in their big trucks who buy you beer and tell you you’re beautiful. I miss small town bars with ancient jukeboxes and ever present jars of pickled eggs. I miss lapping main to see who’s out and about to try and figure out where the party will be. I miss school dances with liquor hid in the toilet tank and knowing every single person there.

I guess it is true. You can take the girl out of the honky tonk, but you can’t take the honky tonk out of the girl.

Thank God for Boxing Day cabarets and the fact my crazy, party animal Uncle is getting married in my small town on New Year’s Eve. Those two nights should more than satisfy my craving for a little bit of country.

I never got around to volunteering in Silverspring school this fall because, well, this semester has been the semester from hell. I was going to volunteer starting in January, but came to the decision not to today.

School has been less than stellar thus far, and so I’ve vowed to buckle down next semester. Yet at the same time I know my social life has been pretty awful as well. More than anything I want to be happy. Crying every second to third day because I’m stressed to the max and hate pretty much every aspect of my life doesn’t exactly spell out happiness.

Remember my 7 month plan? I made it with such high hopes. Then less than a week later we all know what happened. Let’s not rehash it. So then the following month was getting over that, and ignoring a little thing called school. November has been spent catching up, and then wow, it’s December right away, meaning FINALS. Ew.

I’ve decided the two most important things in my life right now are school and my general well-being. My school schedule in January is MF 8:30 AM-11:30 AM, W 8:30 AM-11:30 AM and again from 7 PM-10PM, and TTh 8:30 AM-10:00 AM. I’ve decided that in order to keep my evenings open for my lovely and wonderful friends who often work during the day and have evenings off, I will stay at school in the afternoons and work hard. That way I can see my friends occasionally. Do things like to go movies on cheap Tuesday nights. After Brownies of course. I’ve also talked to my manager and guess what? Next semester if I work a Saturday, I will have Sunday off, and vice versa. No, I’m not joking! I’m so excited.

Hopefully next semester I will be able to, you know, excercise. Here I sit today, knowing I feel 100% better about everything if I just go to the gym occasionally and guess what? Besides chasing after a group of seven year-old girls every Tuesday night, I get no physical activity whatsoever. I don’t need it to lose weight (since it appears I lose more weight if I just stress myself out to the point of not being able to eat), I just want physical activity so I feel better, have more energy, etc.

Oh, honestly, I cannot wait until January. I need a fresh start. By March 1st, mark my words, I will be happier than I am currently.

Beginning of the night, me.
Originally uploaded by voluptuary.

Last night was fun. The ability to drink socially without having to get smashed is wonderful.

I went to bed at 3 AM and was up at 8 AM to go for a Product Knowledge session at work. So I am going back to bed now.

Another thing I really hate:

1) Showing up to work at 10 AM only to discover that due to working until 11 PM the previous night the Saturday schedule changed to a start time of 11:30 AM but alas, no one bothered to point this out. Wonderful.

And again, to balance it out, something I really love:

1) Dressing up and going out! A bottle of chardonnay is waiting to be drunk, a new velvet top waiting to be put on, and Beiley’s it is! Maybe even Lydia’s?

Two things I really hate:

1) Having to be back at work less than twelve hours after leaving.

2) Waking up in what was thought to be the middle of the night which means “Yay! A couple of hours more sleep!” only to look at the alarm clock and realizing it will go off in fifteen minutes.

And in an effort to be more positive…

Two things I really love:

1) Shortbread cookies for breakfast. Yum.

2) Free samples of Shiseido gear. There are definite perks to having a good friend as the counter manager. Thanks Tam!

Time to get to work.

Midterm this afternoon, then I’m at work from 5:15 PM until 11:15 PM.

Yes. It’s true. Stupid.

I agree with Chelene. Why doesn’t The Bay just open at 9 AM on a Sunday instead of staying open till 11 PM on a Friday night? Do you know anyone who will be Christmas shopping on November 18th, a FRIDAY night, at 11 PM? I don’t.

What makes it even more fun and exciting is I have to be back at work less than twelve hours later.

So while everyone else is out enjoying their Friday night, think of me… at work.. bored…

Joy.