Daring to Be » 2006 » February

I’m wasting time before I go have an important academic conversation.

The other day, Mom informed me she bought rice crackers, one of my favourite snacks. Excited, I tore open the package and chomped on a few. After a few seconds…

Me: “Rice crackers taste like loneliness.”

Mom: “Rice crackers taste like loneliness?”

They do. The first time I ever had rice crackers was after D and I broke up last fall. I loved them, and pretty much ate a package a day. I was spending alot of time at school, and nursing my poor wittle heart over the torment of being dumped. Then it was finals, and I was spending even more time at school, all by my lonesome self, still snacking away on rice crackers.

Since then I haven’t eaten rice crackers for awhile, until Mom brought some home. So the taste reminded me of spending time at school, and feeling all alone in the world.

Thus, rice crackers taste like loneliness.

Also, the perfume I bought for my 22nd birthday?

It smells like heartbreak.

Am I the only person who does this? Attaches emotions to completely unrelated objects/smells/tastes?

I know that many people attach emotions to, say, music, but c’mon… rice crackers taste like loneliness and perfume smells like heartbreak?

I’m one strange cookie.

I’m grouchy tonight. Not sure why exactly. Just am.

My weekend was good though, despite working all day Saturday and today. I need the money for my trip to Calgary in a few weeks anyway. So don’t ask me about my run today, because I ended up working when I thought I’d have Sunday off. Also, it’s cold out there today! I could go to the Fieldhouse with Megan but it’s almost 7 PM, I haven’t started studying for tomorrow’s French quiz, and, like mentioned, I’m seriously pissy tonight.

I guess I promised to write more about my weekend, even though it was hardly the most adventurous weekend ever!

Friday night I went over to Jenna’s where we watched a girly movie, noshed on strawberries, and drank Shirley Temple’s. Fun. I spent the night, and cuddled her up! Roseanne has the same complaint that I am a total cuddler/bed hog. I can’t help it. I’m a cuddle monster. I usually prefer that whomever I’m cuddling to be of the male gender, but I guess when sleeping I just don’t care! I shouldn’t ever care really, because I love my friends alot more than I love any member of the opposite sex lately. Let’s not get into why, shall we?

Saturday night Jenna and I ate way too much greasy fast food, then Sean and Meg came over and the four of us watched Amélie and part of The Emperor’s New Groove. Amélie is so darn cute. Except you know the part when Amélie finally hooks up with Nino? I wanted to cry because I would give anything to be kissed like that! So sweet. I didn’t cry though. The only time I cry during movies is if I am by myself. Then I am a freakin’ mess. Especially in Fly Away Home, God only knows why. It’s kind of sad really, but within the first thirty seconds of that movie I am a gross ball of snot and tears. Darn geese.

Wow, is listening to Damien Rice when in a crappy mood the worst idea ever. I wish this bad mood would go away.

I hate it when I get down on myself.

Sweet.

I’m going to bed. Expect a real update tomorrow.

Or not.

So a couple of days ago I decided running was the exercise for me. Nevermind the fact I’ve never actually went running before. Small insignificant detail. You put on your sneakers, open your front door, and set off. Easy peasy. Watch out world, here comes the next Most Amazing Runner Ever!

Me, the English bookworm whom has never been even close to being athletic.

Me, the girl who considers walking from class to class physical activity.

Me, the girl who hasn’t stepped foot in a gym since April, 2005.

Yeah. Brilliant idea, me.

I’m not going to lie, I walked whilst gasping for air more often than I actually ran.

A few things I learned today:

-I am badly out of shape.
-Central Ave past Attridge is busier than I thought. Damnit.
-Sidestitches really fucking hurt.
-I hate feeling like my lungs are bleeding.
-It’s probably a good idea to stretch first.
-It’s hard to enjoy nature when you’re concentrating on, you know, not dying.

But, don’t y’all worry, this girl is no quitter! Nope! I will run again, oh yes! You can help. Everyday ask me how my run was. Even better, join me!

Except don’t ask me how my run was until Sunday. I can’t go again until then. I swear I will though! Seriously!

And, actually, don’t join me. No one should have to witness the off key singing and booty shaking I did to my mp3 player tunes. Scary.

I really do hope I can keep it up. I need some sort of physical activity. At 5′8″ and 145 lbs, I am in fairly good shape considering I eat what I want and don’t currently get much, if any, exercise. However, with my 23rd birthday looming, having taken a Kinesiology class, and currently enrolled in both Nutrition and Health, I’ve learned it’ll all catch up to me and I’ll die young of a heart attack or some such thing if I don’t get a move on.

I’ll need encouragement and support though. Don’t forget!

Taken from her.

THIRTEEN random things I like:
13. My new template!
12. CBC Radio 2.
11. Fleece sheets.
10. Afternoon naps.
09. The smell of Raspberry Almond shampoo.
08. Chapstick.
07. When I am so happy I dance even without music.
06. Kissing.
05. Being officially in my twenties.
04. Running through sprinklers.
03. Summertime, dusty roads, pickup trucks with the windows down, country cranked on the radio.
02. Watching TV with my Mom.
01. When I am excited for what the future may bring rather than worried about getting older.

TWELVE movies that all my friends should watch at least twice:
12. Sliding Doors
11. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
10. Wicker Park
09. The Shawshank Redemption
08. Under the Tuscan Sun
07. The Emperor’s New Groove
06. Maelstrom
05. Hook
04. Love, Actually
03. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
02. October Sky
01. Almost Famous

TEN random things about me:
10. I swallow gum.
09. I can flip my eyelids inside out, suck my nostrils in, and make my tongue into big bubba lips. It’s really quite scary.
08. I can’t say the letter R only if it is after a vowel. Apparently, this makes me sound like I have an accent, which luckily everyone loves!
07. I’ve never broken a bone.
06. I start magazines from the back and work to the front.
05. I like half-popped kernels of popcorn the best.
04. I microwave Smarties.
03. I will be twenty-three this year, and I still share my bed with four teddy bears and a stuffed dog. They’re so darn cute, I don’t want to hurt their feelings by banishing them to the floor…
02. When I was a kid, I had to wear goofy inserts in my shoes and couldn’t run very much because I was flat footed.
01. If you take me to a fast food restaurant to eat, I’ll order my burger without onions, but then I’ll also order onion rings instead of fries.

NINE ways to win my heart:
09. Take care of me when I am sick.
08. Leave me little notes everywhere.
07. Do cheesy, romantic things like serenade me or bring me a dozen roses for no reason.
06. Get along with and love my crazy family as much as I do.
05. Tell me you love me.
04. Know actions speak louder than words.
03. Don’t mind when I take hours to get ready.
02. Tolerate it when I call you disgustingly sappy nicknames.
01. Call me a disgustingly sappy nickname.

EIGHT things I want to do before I die:
08. Publish a book.
07. Swim with dolphins.
06. Become a mother.
05. Get pretty photos done.
04. Marry my soulmate, wherever and whomever he is.
03. Go to Iceland.
02. Own a convertible.
01. Speak French fluently.

SEVEN ways to annoy me
07. Tell me important things right when I wake up.
06. Talk during movies.
05. Always look on the negative side of life.
04. Not respect the fact that, often, I am a loner.
03. Say “seen” when it should be “saw”.
02. Think you are always right, and not respect anyone else’s opinions.
01. Continue to do all the above after I have clearly and politely asked you to stop.

SIX things I believe in:
06. Prayer, even if it is not necessarily to God.
05. Fate.
04. Signs.
03. Love.
02. Daydreaming.
01. Myself.

FIVE things I’m afraid of:
05. Dying.
04. Not being able to have children.
03. Never falling madly in love.
02. Having regrets when I’m old.
01. Mice.

FOUR of my favorite items in my room:
04. My bed with its crazy comfy fleece sheets.
03. My pink star light.
02. My photos of friends and family.
01. The big, colourful gerber daisies on my dresser.

THREE things I do everyday:
03. Ignore my alarm as long as possible.
02. Constantly write little stories, poems, etc in my head.
01. Spend too much time on the computer.

TWO things I want to do right now:
02. Take a nice hot bath with bubbles and read.
01. Go to bed and get a good night’s rest.

ONE person I want to see right now:
01. Nobody, I am in a loner mood. And I love it.

A couple of quick plugs to friends in blogosphere.

First, Lacy, whom I’ve linked to a couple of times but have never outright said “Hey! Lacy has a blog!” Anyway. Lacy has a blog! I graduated with Lacy from high school. We’ve known eachother pretty much our entire lives, ever since we rode the school bus together and played all sorts of silly games and shared a common hatred for our bus driver. Good times!

Second, Andrea, whom I met last fall when she was working at The Bay. Andrea rocks. Besides working together, we partied together once. I hope we will again! Her brand spankin’ new blog is going to be all about wine, one of my favourite things, except I do things like ask for Theresa Sokyrka’s autograph for my lovely cousin Meg after drinking over a full bottle of red by myself. That and remove my date’s belt in one quick motion while he’s driving. I believe I was challenged to? That or I challenged myself. Whatev.

That’s sort of off topic though.

Anyway! Point is, Andrea is alot of fun, and I am sure her blog will be too. She’s definitely going to come in handy for the wine tasting sessions sis and I are planning. I look forward to more great information from you, Andrea!

Now, for the lyrics part of the entry, which I got from the aforementioned blog belonging to Lacy:

Pick 6 songs. Pick a lyric from those songs. Post it in your blog. Fun AND easy. Imagine that.

“Portions for Foxes” by Rilo Kiley

And the talking leads to touching
And the touching leads to sex
And then there is no mystery left.

And it’s bad news, I don’t blame you
I do the same thing, I get lonely too.

“Cannonball” by Damien Rice

Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to lie
Life, it taught me to die
So it’s not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball.

“Under My Skin” by Rachael Yamagata

Would you please get out from under my skin?
‘Cause I can’t begin this yet
And I don’t know what my intentions are
They’re speaking in a different tongue
And, deep inside, I’m not as tough as I seem
But I won’t let you know
Until it’s right, I’m gonna stay my distance
And you should go.

“Latter Days” by Over the Rhine

What a beautiful piece of heartache
This has all turned out to be
Lord knows we’ve learned the hard way
All about healthy apathy.

I use these words pretty loosely
There’s so much more to life than words.

“Lua” by Bright Eyes

I know you have a heavy heart
I can feel it when we kiss.
So many men stronger than me
have thrown their backs out trying to lift it.

“I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You” by Colin Hay

Your face it dances and it haunts me
Your laughter’s still ringing in my ears
I still find pieces of your presence here
Even after all these years.
But I don’t want you thinking I don’t get asked to dinner
‘Cause I’m here to say that I sometimes do.
Even though I may soon feel the touch of love
I just don’t think I’ll ever get over you.
If I lived till I was 102
I just don’t think I’ll ever get over you.

I tried to choose lyrics that at some point in my life have made me sit up and pay attention. I think I did a pretty good job, though it was hard work choosing!

I changed my settings once more, so that once again anyone can post comments, but now all comments must be approved by me before being published!

Yay for comment moderation! Boo to losers who force me to do this!

Appetizer
If you were a color, which color would you be, and why?

I suppose blue, just because of my eye colour and people thinking I wear coloured contacts. My one pride and joy in how I look!

Soup
When was the last time you went to the doctor, and what was your reason for going?

I went to the doctor last November to get a prescription for massages, so I could get reimbursed if I got one. I told him about my horrid neck pain and he told me to take calcium. It has worked good, and I haven’t went for a massage yet, although I should since I am covered.

Salad
What do you collect?

Old fashioned jewellery boxes. It’s a nice thing to collect because it’ll never get out of hand, for it’s hard to find them in good shape or not too expensive. I only have 6 and have been collecting since I was 11.

Main Course
What were you like in high school? Name one thing you miss and one thing you don’t miss about those days. (If you’re still there, imagine how you’ll remember it in the future.)

I was much like I am now, except punkier. I had short red hair and my eyebrow pierced! I was also more of a partier than I am now. What I miss about those days… the carefree days of high school when I didn’t worry about life past graduation. What I don’t miss is being in a small town!

Dessert
Pretend you’re standing in front of your home, with your back towards your home. Describe the view - what can you see? Trees? Cars? A zoo? Wal-Mart?

To the right, a house. To the left, another house. Across the street, a house. To the right of the house across the street, another house. To the left of the house across the street, a church. There’s also a big open field past the church. I live in a newer area of town, total suburbia.

I sure did!

Recipe for Valentine’s Day success:

-Good friends.
-Beer and wings at the Yard & Flagon.
-Beer and bowling.
-Beer and hot tub.
-Late night run for McDonald’s.

Mmm… beer!

I had an awesome Valentine’s Day. It was my third Valentine’s Day in a row being single, and if I do happen to be madly in love next VDay, well, he’s going to have to pull out all the stops to top the last few.

Valentine’s Day 2004: Went to 50 First Dates with my Dad, brother, and Twyla. It was Jaret’s first Valentine’s Day with Twyla and oh did I bug him about taking his girlfriend out with his Dad and sister! I guess she must’ve been okay with it, if she’s marrying him this summer!

Valentine’s Day 2005: Made myself supper, drank some wine, ate some chocolate, and watched a movie. Quite the enjoyable time. I am the best date ever.

See? Hard to top.

Then Megan called me up to go for lunch today, and she brought me a rose! *insert huge goofy smile here* It smells pretty. Looks even prettier!

We went for lunch at Athena’s where I had awesome French onion soup and not-so-awesome fish and chips… one of my fish sticks was still half frozen. Ech. So the meal ended up being reallllly cheap. According to Meg I had quite the revolted look on my face. Can you blame me? I like sushi… I don’t like half frozen battered fish sticks.

I suppose I should get on with my day. I need to do some baking for the Girl Guides Thinking Day celebration that’s happening this Saturday. I’m not going, Dad gets here tonight and will be here till Sunday, but I promised to donate baking, and also two boxes of microwave popocorn for the movie themed raffle basket.

FYI: There’s a new Chapstick on the market! Vanilla Mint! That spells heaven for this Chapstick-addicted girl.

I napped way too much today. I guess yesterday’s festivities for Mom’s birthday, and the insane amount of food I consumed, just played me out and I had to have a day to recuperate!

I did get a bit accomplished. I did some research for my next English essay, and made it to the university to take out a bunch of books. I cleaned up the kitchen, made Rickety Uncles (yum), and went for a long walk with Mom. Tonight will be a lazy evening filled with watching TV.

I haven’t written in here about it, but I found out last week that I can’t apply to Education this year. I don’t have the right, or enough, credits for my Teaching Area 2. It’s not a big deal at all, in fact I felt a load of stress come off my shoulders when I realized I couldn’t apply. I only have one year left in my English degree anyway. Might as well finish up for a couple of reasons:

-Having one degree makes it easier to get into school elsewhere. As it is now, Education programs at many universities are after degree programs. Meaning that next year I can apply to Education programs all across Canada, giving me a chance to live somewhere OUTSIDE of Saskatchewan (say Edmonton, since Roseanne wants to go to school there and Jenna said she’d move with me and be my roomie!)

-Once I finally do get my Education degree, I’ll have two degrees. Apparently this equals in a higher pay bracket for teaching, or so I’ve heard. No complaints here!

Also; I am sick of school. Now I can placate myself with knowing I only have one year left! Then I can either apply to Education and get my teaching degree, or I can take a year or so off. When out on my walk with Mom tonight, I discussed with her the idea of becoming an au pair once I am done my English degree. It would give me the chance to travel, and if I were to become an au pair in France it would also give me a chance to learn more French and hopefully reach my goal of one day being bilingual.

I guess I have a year to go over all my options for what to do after I am done my B.A. I went ahead and posted a profile over at Great Au Pair because if anything, I might as well find out as much as I can about being an au pair.

Hmmm. Decisions, decisions!

(For those of you who don’t know, an au pair is “a young foreigner who does domestic work for a family in exchange for room and board and a chance to learn the family’s language.” Thank you, Dictionary.com!)

Medium will be on in 10 minutes, just enough time to make a big bowl of salty, buttery popcorn and enjoy the show!