Daring to Be » 2006 » June

Appetizer
On average, approximately how many times per day do you yawn?

Maybe around 20-30?

Soup
What was your most memorable school field trip?

Probably when my grade six class sang for Telemiracle.

Salad
Fill in the blank: I was extremely __________________ this week.

I was extremely popular this week. (Also known as busy, but popular sounds more fun and exciting.)

Main Course
Which color do you think of when you hear the word “soothing”?

In a heartbeat… blue.

Dessert
What is something that, if you had to, you could save up the money to buy within one month?

A new bike, since mine is terrible.

I did good on my paper! Phew…

Now am headed home for two days to a family BBQ tonight, Evan’s grad tomorrow.

Be back (and working… blah) all long weekend.

This is not new news to most of you, since I went on a massive phone calling/txt msging/MSNing binge to let people know, but I still want to shout it out on my blog or else I may explode from happiness…

I RECEIVED AN ACCEPTANCE LETTER FROM THE COLLEGE OF EDUCATION!

In typical girly fashion, I cried.

… I shouldn’t get ahead of myself. It’s a “conditional” acceptance, since the only way I could apply was by taking this history class I am currently enrolled in, so if I do terribly or don’t finish, my acceptance can be revoked.

So, um, let’s all hope the essay fiasco of last week doesn’t completely screw me over.

Still. I can’t help grinning ear to ear. I think I even slept with a smile on my face.

Appetizer
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you like your job?

Even though this is one of those scale questions I hate, I will answer. Tonight? ZERO.

Soup
When was the last time you think you were lied to?

I think last Saturday when friends and family told me I was good at dance. Liars.

Salad
Share some lyrics from one of your favorite songs.

Oh, good Lord, as if that is not the most difficult question to answer ever for lyrics lovin’ Brea… but here are some that make me giggle:

From “Rock N Roll” by The Sounds (love, love, love this song)

So you can call the police
I’m sorry ’bout my manners, but you see,
I’m a bit drunk as you can see
I bet you would like to undress me.

Main Course
What do you do/take when you are in pain?

I take Ibuprofen usually… what do I do? Pout, whine, and generally carry on like a child in an effort to make people feel sorry for me!

Dessert
Fill in the blanks: My __________ is very __________.

My throat is very sore. Thank God for honey lemon tea.

(I’ve updated alot lately, haven’t I? Well, now that my essay is done and handed in guess what that means? That means now that I actually have the free time to update, I will not. Silly girl.)

Okay, I don’t know what I did to make the world turn against me, all I know is it sure as hell has, and I should probably crawl back into bed and hide under the covers until the dark storm cloud over my head dissipates.

To begin with, dead tired after I finally finished my essay at 3 AM, I neglected to set my alarm. As a result, I of course woke up at 8:39 AM, nine minutes after class had started.

Normally, not a huge deal. I can just borrow the notes from someone, right? True, but it still isn’t the same as actually going to class. Seeing as how I missed class on Wednesday and Thursday, and now today, I feel real guilty. Not to mention I have to miss class on Monday (I’ll explain why later.)

I’m a dork, I’ll admit it. I prefer to have perfect, or near to it, attendance, even in university classes. In fact, I’ve even won a perfect attendance award in one of my classes. So missing four days of class in a row makes me feel like the worst student ever.

But here’s the part that really proves I have rotten luck…

Last night after my computer froze I, with fingers crossed, hoped that my essay had been autosaved. Unfortunately, I looked for a recovered copy and there was none. So I kissed the thought of going to bed at a reasonable hour goodbye, and rewrote the parts I had lost.

This morning?

…

An autosaved copy is miraculously available.

Kill me now.

WHY THE HELL DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME?

Seriously. I am thisclose to completely losing it and melting into a ball of snot and tears as I shake my first at the sky and whimper “Why me… why me…”

Oh, I also have developed a killer sore throat, which is not fun since I have an insanely busy week ahead of me.

I’m going to do my best to remain optimistic and be glad that I now have two essays which I can read over and combine into one too-awesome-for-words essay. Great idea, no?

Must. Look. On. The. Bright. Side.

I? Am seriously going to cry.

My essay was due at 4:30 PM. Of course I, being the procrastinator I am, was not finished in time. Then I had to work from 5-9 PM.

I came home and diligently began work on my essay. Finished it, too. Until the unspeakable happened.

…My computer froze.

And, being a complete moron, of course I hadn’t saved my essay in a really long time.

Really, I haven’t lost all that much. I mainly have spent the last while finishing paragraphs up and rearranging them.

HOWEVER, since this essay is already late, I can’t exactly just give up for the night and go to bed. Nope. It’s almost 2 AM now. I have class at 8:30 AM, then I work from 1-7:30.

Not much I can do. Let me tell you, though, I officially don’t give a damn about my mark, and will simply be impressed if I actually finish the essay and hand it in.

That, folks, would be reason enough for me to celebrate.

EDIT: It’s 3:20 AM and I am officially done my essay. Sure, it is total crap, but who cares? It’s finished. Except for proofreading in the morning, since there are probably a ton of mistakes, I am so dog tired I don’t even know my own name…

From sixteen days under the sundae:

ok so i have gone on an average of 3 ‘first dates’ a week for the past month. that’s pretty good, i figure.

here are some things i’ve figured out:
1) guys don’t want to date women who have kids
2) guys don’t want to date women who don’t want kids
3) it doesn’t matter if i get naked on the first date, don’t get naked on the first date, dress up, dress down, am vivacious and flirty or am a quiet good listener - guys only want to shag me.
4) if i do put out on the first date, nine times out of ten they don’t call back
5) if i don’t put out on the first date, nine times out of ten they don’t call back
6) if they do call back, it’s usually to say that they aren’t looking for a relationship right now, but would like to ‘take it one step at a time’
7) ‘take it one step at a time’ means hang out long enough to a) shag again or b) shag for the first time, and *then* stop calling
8) none of the advice that anyone has given me has worked

My own experiences as well as bearing witness to my friends expereriences lead me to agree with much of this list and thus I find it greatly entertaining, but at the same time it kind of gives reason for a girl to become dejected, ya know?

In other news, I am up on 25peeps.com. Go click away so I can feel popular.

Is it possible to feel simultaneously empty about certain events in ones life, yet at the same time feel content in the direction that same life is headed?

Today I wrote a difficult email to C in response to the one I received from him, and in it I think I effectively managed to put into practice what I said here: Since then I have learned it is possible to forgive someone for hurting me, without allowing them a place in my life as a friend.

Well, at least the forgiveness is a work in progress!

I risk making Megan cry with posting this, for she was close to him, but for that same reason I am sure she’s already aware… today would’ve been Stefan’s 21st birthday. Myself, I feel like I simply haven’t spoken to him in awhile, not that he is gone forever. I am perfectly okay with continuing to think that way, thankyouverymuch.

I guess the reason why I can feel happy, at least a bittersweet happiness, is that while I have said goodbye to C today (yes, again), and reflected on having to say goodbye to Stefan almost a year ago (like everyone in my family, much against all of our wishes), is the realization not much can be done to change the sequence of events which led to life as I know it. Sad and horrible as some things are, I would much rather get from Stefan’s death, anyone’s death really, the attitude of appreciating every moment.

One of my favourite quotes is “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened!” With this in mind I’ll do my best to be thankful for the years of friendship with C, and the lessons he taught me (yes, even the tough ones), as well as be thankful that I was able to get to know Stefan as a friend before he passed, and I was able to celebrate his 19th birthday two years ago today, just me and him, with balloons, cake, and going out for supper.

“We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.”

“What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.”

I’ve refrained from writing about how much I hate the weather but figure I can’t hide anymore from it… I HATE THE WEATHER. When will summer be here?

Also, I dislike when people say rude things under the guise of joking. It really irks me. It also makes me wonder how many times I’ve done the same thing without realizing it. Hopefully now I can watch myself.

I wish I had my new glasses already. Today is one of those lazy, glasses-wearing, days.

Like I said, I am not a hockey fan, but I am still alive and thus can feel the bone crushing disappointment of the thousands of Oilers fans out there.

I won’t be crying myself to sleep or anything, but it still is a sad thing to have lost.