Daring to Be » Life

Unlike most people, I’ve opted for staying in tonight. I’ve had invites for various parties but I decided to finally acknowledge that NYE is usually a disappointment ending with me not-so-patiently waiting for a cab to take me home. So staying home it is. But I have a glass of wine, good food about to be put in the oven, and some company so it isn’t that bad.

Happy New Year, everyone! May your night be more eventful than my own!

9 school days left of my internship.

My co-op gave me my final evaluation to proof read and I actually felt flattered after reading it, so that’s a good sign and definitely not worth me working myself in a tizzy of worry over it. I guess I just am harder on myself than necessary.

I finished full time teaching on Friday. Now for the next few days I just teach afternoons and then eventually not at all. I keep walking around repeating how crazy I think it is that my internship is over. I’ve passed. All that’s left between me and my Education degree is 4 months of classes, not a big concern to me at all since I’ve already passed 4 years of classes, another 4 months won’t kill me.

Now, what to do after my degree is what troubles me…

Yet another cute kindergarten story…

Yesterday afternoon my coop and I had a conference downtown so we had a sub in. Today our EA told me that while we were away B., a little girl in my class who is positively adorable (well I guess all my students are… ), was busy coloring but all of sudden quit coloring, looked up and said “I love Miss. G!”

Too funny because I wasn’t even there to do anything to warrant her announcing that she loves me!

Ack I love this job.

Blogging isn’t important to me anymore.

I really don’t know what else to say?

I guess I feel like I’ve figured out what is important to me, and writing in a public journal didn’t make it on the list. Time to move back to a private, paper journal I think.

Or maybe I just need an extended break?

Who knows really?

… for I have seen yesterday and I love today. (William Allen White)

Not only has internship taught me a lot in regards to my identity as a teacher, but it also has really helped me think about what I want for the rest of my life and begin to weigh my options. To be honest, I have never looked far beyond getting my degree. That was always my plan, to get my degree and take it from there. Well, now I’m only five months away from attaining my goal. Meaning, it’s time to think about the rest of my life!

I definitely don’t have the answers. But I do know I have grown up quite a bit these last few months. For the longest time I wanted to write about my options on here, and get people’s opinions. I don’t feel that way anymore. Nobody can know what is important to me quite like I do.

I guess what I’m trying to get across here is that I don’t have the rest of my life figured out. But for once I feel like that’s okay. Whatever choices I make, I’m making them on my own and I’ll be fine.

I am finally trusting myself completely.

It’s wonderful.

Internship will be over in exactly one month from today. Which is crazy to say the least.

I would write more about how it has been going, but I’m sick. Though I felt fine all day, I came home and was physically ill. Not fun. The little germ factories known as children have struck again! They’re lucky they’re so cute. I spent all evening on the couch, in and out of sleep, and am feeling okay. I think I caught a very weak strain of the flu bug, fingers crossed at least. Tomorrow is a long day, Activity Conferences in the early evening followed by going to the Stars concert that night. Friday brings Activity Conferences in the morning and then supper and Swan Lake that night. So yes, I hope I feel better tomorrow because I would be really unhappy if I had to miss one or both of the events I’ve been looking forward to since September!

Time to crawl back onto the couch. This short entry had me sitting up too long.

It really annoys me that a good portion of the time I don’t have a clue what I want from life.

It also annoys me that sometimes I actually wish someone would make my decisions for me! (What does that say about myself and being insecure in my choices!?)

Ugh.

I have found over the last few years that I really enjoy my mornings. I have definitely become the type of person who prefers “early to bed, early to rise”. This worked out great when I started my internship, because my cooperating teacher is the same way. She prefers arriving at school in the morning around 7:45 AM and then she can leave quite quickly after school. But beyond that, today is a great example of why I love being a morning person.

Today I woke up at 8 AM (2 hours later than when I wake up during the week, so 8 AM is sleeping in to me, in fact I felt guilty for sleeping in so late!) By noon I had eaten breakfast, cleaned the upstairs washroom, tidied and vacuumed my room, vacuumed the front room, showered and dressed for the day, as well as walked down Broadway window shopping with my mom and sister including a stop at Calories for crème brûlée and coffee!

I remember thinking my grandma and my mom were crazy for being the type to be up at 6 AM or even earlier, but now see the benefits and do not doubt I will increasingly become more of a morning person as time goes on!

I am in an incredibly grouchy mood right now, with no real concrete reason to be.

Today was my last internship inservice. My co-op and I went through my mid-term evaluation and I just found it to be really draining. Nine pages of statements that we discussed whether or not I had met, and if not, my plan for improvement. Now don’t get me wrong, I understand the importance of doing it and luckily enough, I wasn’t surprised with anything we talked about but all the same it was exhausting going through my internship thus far with such a fine toothed comb. We finished it at 2 PM, I came home and crashed until 4 PM! Which in turn made me feel guilty, because it was a beautiful day today and Winston came and sat on my chest, staring me down like “Aren’t you taking me for a walk?” He finally gave up, let out a huge sigh, and had a nap with me.

I also chaired the ESS meeting tonight, which is always fun. (Please note the sarcasm.) I just feel like I am the worst chairperson ever sometimes!

So now I plan on doing nothing but watching The Hills, even though I have assignments to mark and things to plan. But I don’t care, not at this moment, I just need to relax a bit.